Recalling Pineapples

     This post kind of feels like it's coming out of nowhere - which is partially true.  I had a memory come to me in the form of a vivid dream that literally woke me up out of a deep sleep.  I wondered why my brain brought up that memory for.  Was it trying to remind me about someone or trying to prove something to me?  I realize I probably sound a little loopy, but if you've ever had a dream so vivid you wake up feeling a little guilty for something you did in it, then you can understand where I ’ m coming from.  Ever since waking up from this dream, these stories have been dying to come out of me.  As I fall asleep, my brain rewrites over and over again the first section you'll read here.      I think part of why I've put off sharing this is because I've always been a little unsure of where the line is between appropriate and inappropriate.  Where the line is between telling my stories, and telling other people ’ s stor...

My depressed means that the wrong statement can send me over the edge My depressed makes me want to crawl into a hole and hide My depressed makes me recoil at the thought of physical contact I’ll turn mirrors to face each other or the wall I’ll rush from work to home to avoid the eyes of strangers Who probably don’t see me anyway But my depression makes me feel like a giant My depression makes me feel like an ogre My depression makes me want to do whatever I have to do to make up to you whatever I did wrong to you But my depression also makes me feel unworthy of forgiveness My depression makes me feel incapable of helping or fixing My depression makes me push you away, Because my depression says I don’t deserve you My depression says I’m awful and terrible and you could do so much better My depression does not want attention My depression wants to be alone Because I don’t want you to see me like this, to feel like this, to experience this My depression doesn’t keep m...