Recalling Pineapples

Question 49/424:  What gives you joy? The best answer to this question is my people. I know that probably sounds codependent or basic but it’s honest. I have such a wonderful group of friends that I consider to be my true friends and have been with me for so long. Even my newest friends (the shortest friendship being 1 year) are so fully integrated into my circle and I have been so transparent with them that I feel such an undeniable connection to them. I am also an extrovert, so generally speaking I am always happier in social situations than I am when I am alone. The fact that I have a group of people that I can reach out to at any given moment and for a variety of different experiences is such a blessing. I think that’s why it’s so important to me to maintain those friendship and to be a good friend myself, because I can’t imagine my life without these people around me and helping me through all the craziness of this life. On a more surface level, another thing that brings m...

I want to sink into oblivion I want to hide so well I disappear Unfindable Untouchable In so many ways I already feel like a ghost Wouldn’t it be easier for everyone If they didn’t have to worry about accommodating me My messes My drama And my never ceasing crisis commentary I’m spiraling I can feel it I know everyone can see it They’re all asking how to help me I don’t want to take the assistance I don’t want to feel their pity I don’t want the martyrdom (Even if it fits me perfectly) I don’t want to feel their eyes on me Anticipating my next move I don’t want to hear the chants from their Coliseum seats Screaming out what I already know to be true Tearing me apart   I just want to breathe I want to behave recklessly I want to do something truly life shattering So wildly out of character That people question if they ever knew me The way that I question if I even know me Is this crisis? Is this grief? Is this depressio...

Even as we're existing in this moment When you gently kiss my forehead Then settle in with a smile lingering on your lips As our breathing finds a rhythm I know that this is how I'll remember you For the rest of my life Your soft face Your clear skin Your bright eyes Your full smile Your soft breathing Your hand resting on the curve of my waist When the years have passed us by And all that's left is faded memories Despite what time has done to us Regardless of where life has led us I will return to this place in my reverie Lying in your arms Watching your eyes flutter closed Feeling your breathing slow As you fall into a light slumber While my fingers comb their way through hair I revel in this moment of escape Isolating ourselves from the world It's always a short lived respite But something I cherish And crave anytime I have to go without I'll keep this memory Tucked in a corner for safe keeping For use in ...

Question 47/424:  What was the most difficult time in your life? What did it teach you? There are two very specific instances that always come to my mind when I’m asked about difficult times. One example is the first year after high school, the second is when I broke up with my first adult boyfriend when I was almost 21. I graduated high school in May and by that point already had plans to go to college the following September, two months before I turned 18. My open house to celebrate graduation was held in July and by August 1st my dad had gone missing and a community search found his body. When college was set to start in September, I was more than a little overwhelmed. My entire world had been flipped upside down at home, and now I was trying to figure out how to balance being an adult seeking independence, while also trying to help my mother as much as I could because she wasn’t planning on living alone in my childhood home and there was a lot that had to be taken care of. ...