Topix Questions 29: What Are Your Thoughts on Risk? Scary, Exciting, Unavoidable? & 30: Remember a Time You or Someone Else Laughed Uncontrollably

 

Question 29/424:  What are your thoughts on risk?  Is it scary, exciting, unavoidable?

Risk is unavoidable and stressful.  Two of the most important things to me are stability and security, so risk takes me out of my comfort zone.  For the most part I try to only take calculated risks, which means I’ve stayed in the same city and worked at the same job for my entire adult life, because the risk associated with moving away or find a new job or a new boss seems to high to chance.  There was a time in my life where risk was exciting and I didn’t shy away from it as much, I wasn’t reckless per se but I certainly didn’t have as much anxiety about making decisions as I am now.  I don’t really hang out with risk takers either, I guess because risk takers usually want their friends to participate in the risk taking behavior and I know that’s not me.

I admire the risk takers of the world, and I often wish that I had the nerve to do half of what they do.  I see people packing up their lives and living in RVs and traveling the country.  I see people throwing caution to the wind and uprooting their entire lives for chances at careers in different states obviously having no way of foreseeing how that will pan out long term.  For me, even just adopting a cat 9 years ago seemed like a huge risk that I debated with myself on for years before I finally had someone encourage me. 

I admit that my fear and avoidance of risk taking is probably a big contributing factor to my feeling of discontent about where my life is currently.  Despite my fear of risk I do agree with the idea that big risk equals big reward, and bigger risk equals bigger reward.  Unfortunately I have not taken a lot of risks and so for the most part I have simply towed the status quo.  I’m not ashamed of the life I have, I do take some pride in the fact that I have been almost entirely self sufficient since I was twenty-one, but I do wish I had more.  I accept the fact that if I had been more willing to take bigger risks sooner in life then I would likely have accomplished a lot of the things I envy other people have accomplished.

I am working on trying to be less afraid, of risk or of change, but I still feel compelled to work towards the calculated risks.  There are things in life that no matter how prepared you think you are for there are still risks involved; buying a house, having a kid, moving to a new place, starting a new relationship even the act of driving a vehicle all have risks attached.  I think it’s important to be realistic and aware of the fact that living assumes a level of risk.  That doesn’t mean risks aren’t worth taking, I just personally subscribe the idea of being as prepared as you can be before jumping off a mountain.  The most powerful thing we can do as humans is to acknowledge our fears and to look them in the face and do it anyway, as much as possible.

So yes risk can be all of the three things this question suggested, scary, exciting, and unavoidable, but risk can also be rewarding which I think is an important thing to remember.  It’s also important to remember that you should never risk something you can’t afford to lose – so again, taking calculated risks.  Doing the homework to be prepared for the risks you can foresee but also allowing yourself the grace to accept that there may be risks you couldn’t have foreseen and just rolling with the punches.  We only have one shot at this life, in theory, so it’s important to make sure that you aren’t missing out on things simply because of fear.  Look to those around you for their experience, expertise and advice and remember that you have a phenomenal track record for surviving hard times and bad days.  So yes, take the risks, but do so in whatever way makes you the most comfortable.

 

 

Question 30/424:  Remember a time you or someone else laughed uncontrollably.

To be perfectly honest, laughing uncontrollably is something that happens pretty often with my group of friends.  It could be because of some inside joke, or some joke that comes up in the moment, or it could stem from a game we’re playing.  I know something that happens a lot is that my friend of 23 years and I sometimes have a secret language, she can barely say anything and I can anticipate what she’s going to say or I can interpret what she wanted to say even if no one else in the room can.  This can be an unfair advantage if we’re playing a game where you have to get your teammate to guess something based on some key words when she and I talk in our secret language.  I remember one time I had to get her to guess the movie Blades of Glory and I said it starred two actors, I don’t remember which names I gave but they were no the names of the actually people in the move, but she managed to guess it immediately and the other people in the room were taken aback because how could she guess the correct movie when I gave her the incorrect starring actors, but that’s how we operate, and that resulted in a round of gut busting laughter.

There was also a time where a friend of mine were talking about I think playing with a Ouiji board, and my friend said “Well geez I should invite my grandmother over to joint us.”  And without really thinking about it I said, “Sure if she’s into that kind of thing!” and my friend responded “Well we’d need to perform a séance.” I still wasn’t really getting it and then she reminded me that her grandmother had passed away years before and I felt terrible but she laughed so hard because of how funny it was at how oblivious I was to what she was saying / implying.  So after I apologized profusely we did bust out laughing pretty uncontrollably and it was a running joke for years afterwards.

Sometimes those fits of laughter can be over almost quite literally nothing.  Recently I was hanging out with two friends and one of them made some joke about how if she didn’t stop me then the third friend wouldn’t get a word in edgewise.  So I swallowed my pride and I just stayed silent for a while, probably a good 20 minutes and during that time these two friends were so confused and uncomfortable (because I’m not a person who sits quietly for very long most of the time) that they couldn’t help but laugh, which of course made me laugh, to the point of crying actually.

It's really hard to think of these moments on the spot, I just know that they happen and that they are some of my favorite times even if I can’t recall the specifics.  I think of days like that and how joyful I am in those moments and I think about the old wives tale that laughter makes you live longer and I like to think those moments have added on a good number of years for me.  I think that’s also why I feel uncomfortable in spaces where volume needs to be considered.  I live in an apartment and have for a long time but I try not to stifle myself too much as long as it’s not after 10pm because life is for living and being able to express yourself openly and freely is one of lives little joys.  Too often I find myself in situations with people who just don’t appreciate or don’t want to be around loud people, and I can understand their point of view, but that is I guess one of my toxic traits – I am the loud friend.  If being around a loud person puts you off or makes you frustrated then I can say with decent certainty that you  and I probably wouldn’t get along.  Again I understand times and places for everything, I’m not belligerent in public spaces.  But when I am around the people I love and who I believe love me back, I don’t want to feel like I’m putting on a quiet show to accommodate anyone.  If I had to pretend to be something I’m not to be around someone then what does that really say about our friendship?

All of that to say that I strongly recommend that you seek out people to be in your life that encourage you to be silly and to laugh loudly and to love strongly because that’s really what it’s all about in the end.