Deja Vu Through a Looking Glass

I’ve been here before
I recognize the trees
They’ve grown a bit
Since I last stood at these crossroads
But the knots on the trunks remain the same
I understand the difficulty
Of choosing between something familiar
And something new and promising

The last time I was here
It was me who had to make that decision
Sobbing into my steering wheel
As he apologized for all the wrongs
As I drove back to a home that wasn’t mine
The ripping in my chest was deafening
The tugging in my stomach was nauseating
But after years of missed connections
All of the disappearing and reappearing
I felt like the choice was simple
I would have to be a fool to choose
What always seemed just out of reach

Ironically it worked out really well for him
He went on to find someone and marry them
I went on to tread water in an ocean I didn't ask to see
That was an entire lifetime ago
Back when we met for the first time
When you busy making mistakes
And I was busy feeling sorry for myself
So many years of inconvenient timing
This reconnection is no different
Just weird timing from the get'
I understand what you’re going through

I’ve been here before
I recognize the river just beyond the tree line
But I wonder - if you can’t seem to get over something
Maybe you’re not finished going through it yet
If you’re asking for my opinion
If you’re not really past the wonderment
You likely won’t be until you’ve played it out
Until you’ve tasted all it's flavors
Wrung it dry

If my experience is any indication
There’s a chance it’s going to work out in the long run
One of us will come out less scathed
And one of us will keep wondering
What could have been
What could still be.

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