Drawn

I am drawn to you

But does that mean I desire you?

Or is it just exciting to meet someone new?

You invigorate me

Is it because our energies match?

Or do you just remind me of a mistake from my past?

 

I want to know you

The undiluted version

I want to see who you are

The most authentic version

Away from the bustle and the expectations

Away from the strangers and the friendships

 

Maybe if I heard you fully

I could make sense of this static

That overtakes my senses when I think of you

Maybe if I knew you thoroughly

I could untangle all of these emotions

That threaten to escape me

 

I want to write beautiful metaphors

Express how I’m feeling under the guise of

Rainstorms ending with the sun splitting the clouds apart

Symphonies slowly crescendoing to a swell that reverberates through my body

A tidal wave cooling the fire in my brain and bringing me peace

 

Is this because of you?

Is this in spite of you?

Does this mean anything?

 

If I could only speak the words

I’m sure you could understand them

Perhaps even explain this

Better than I could ever dream of

But for now, I’ll just sleep on these feelings

And wonder if you ever

Find yourself questioning

How you feel about me.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sharing My "Covid Chronicle Interview" By Sarah Moose on Patreon

My friend Sarah has a Patreon where they shares their stories and others' stories of survival.  They interview people about the pandemic and collapse, and is hoping to use this platform to travel and stay alive to share other peoples' stories as well as their own.  They are an extremely interesting and inspiring person; from their stories about the pandemic, about sex work, about houselesness, and their cross-country trip in their tiny-house offering pies to unhoused people.  I have also previously supported their efforts by purchasing both a shirt and masks featuring their "Human Rights" logo which encourages the radical idea that all humans deserve the right to food, water, housing, education, and healthcare.  [Links to stickers featuring that logo and others below].  I encourage you all to check out their Patreon and consider supporting their cause and their efforts to share the stories of people they meet - including me! My Interview Sarah invited me to part...
Read more

Leaving

 People act like leaving is easy Like the act of falling out of love with someone Is like a switch  Or somehow linear It's so much messier than all of that It's never that simple The movies will have you think Once the words have left your lips The person will leave And their stuff will disappear And time flashes forward That doesn't account for the stages That mimic those of grief Denial The finding ways to stay The sticking around The lingering Anger The accusations The cruelty The things you can't take back Bargaining The begging The doubt The balancing act Depression The emotions The concern of regret The loneliness  Acceptance The furthest step The hardest to reach The finale Even if it's amicable Or civil Or friendly It's never simple
Read more

Maybe My Depressed is Different than Your Depressed

My depressed means that the wrong statement can send me over the edge My depressed makes me want to crawl into a hole and hide My depressed makes me recoil at the thought of physical contact I’ll turn mirrors to face each other or the wall I’ll rush from work to home to avoid the eyes of strangers Who probably don’t see me anyway But my depression makes me feel like a giant My depression makes me feel like an ogre My depression makes me want to do whatever I have to do to make up to you whatever I did wrong to you But my depression also makes me feel unworthy of forgiveness My depression makes me feel incapable of helping or fixing My depression makes me push you away, Because my depression says I don’t deserve you My depression says I’m awful and terrible and you could do so much better My depression does not want attention My depression wants to be alone Because I don’t want you to see me like this, to feel like this, to experience this My depression doesn’t keep m...
Read more