Intrigue

You intrigue me
You fascinate me
I want you
To tear apart my nightmares
Analyze my psyche
And truly
See me
You seem capable
If not a little brutal
Honest
I respect it
I want you to respect me
Show me
Teach me
This mindfulness
This patience
This passion
You practice
And you preach
There's not much I can do
Or what I can do is quite huge
Earth shattering
Life changing
Heart breaking
Choices
Causing ricocheting ripples
But at what cost
At what risk
Would it make a difference
Would you even notice
Would you even realize
That the motive was you?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Pseudo Stepmom

I'm not a parent And I know that means that I'm not allowed to have an opinion But I've been around kids And I've been a kid And how is this the second time Someone I've asked to walk out of my life Has come back to collect "all their belongings" Yet the things that they'll come back for The things they'll make a second trip for Is the kids' things I get that the goal is always to do it all at once And I get it that sometimes it's not that simple And I know I'm not a parent So I'm not allowed to have an opinion But if it were me I feel like I would take care of the kids stuff first And it seems like if I was the kid And I recognized that my parents took their time reclaiming the things that belonged to me I think I'd feel some type of way about that It's just so funny this has happened twice now I shouldn't even be surprised People keep finding ways to not surprise me Maybe it's manipulation Maybe they...
Read more

I Have Been In Debt Since I Was 16. [or, Don't Waste Your Time and Money on Dead End Relationships]

I have been in debt since I was 16. My parents did a good job of teaching us kids the value of a dollar, how to budget, and how to balance a checkbook.   We were given Debt Sheets for purchases that our parents deemed unnecessary expenses, or at least expenses that they shouldn’t be held responsible for.   Examples would be video game systems, expensive school trips, our vehicles, our auto insurance, and our monthly gas usage.   I don’t blame them for this, it was in fact an important thing for us to learn.   Even the purchase of our first vehicles at 16 seemed fair, there were 3 kids who all turned 16 within 5 years of each other and it would be pretty unrealistic to expect our parents to fund those vehicles without reimbursement. As I neared my 16th birthday, my parents noticed that my best friend's brother was trying to sell his 1992 Ford Escort Wagon because he had gotten a ticket for a loud muffler and didn't want to pay to repair it.   On my 16th birth...
Read more

Place

It's not my place anymore But it was once To speak about you Of your place in my life Of your importance It feels wrong to look back now To think of fondness After a year if distance I've been angry And disinterested That's the truth But time can heal things I figured that it would I wasn't sure we'd ever be close again But I made connections because of you My life is changed because of you I can't deny that I never tried to I heard that you avoided places Trying to avoid me It's ironic because I avoided places Trying to avoid you How much time we wasted When we could have just been speaking It doesn't matter now though I heard through the grapevine Of the connections I made through you And the web of social media That you've passed on And I don't know what I'm allowed to say I started by not saying anything Then a few vague posts here and there You know how I love to Vaguebook But if I know anything about you  It's that you hate sad memo...
Read more