Mature Enough to Call Myself Out

The issue isn’t that I don’t know what I want
The issue is that I know what I want so intensely
It tastes like copper on my tongue
It smells like a home cooked meal fresh from the oven
It sounds like the wind rustling the leaves on trees in my backyard
It feels like the comfort that can be shared within a family
It looks like a full and happy home

The issue isn’t that I don’t know what I want
The issue is I keep taking the wrong paths to get there
I keep asking the wrong people to help me build it
The issue is that what I want requires a team effort
And I was raised with quite a work ethic
The issue isn’t that I’m too insecure to ask for it
The issue is that I’m too insecure to stand up for myself

I don’t like walking away from things
I don’t like feeling like a failure
I don’t like looking like a liar
I don’t like being considered a quitter
I stick around until it hurts
Until I’m convinced my life will never truly start
Certain my dreams will never come true

When it’s the darkest
That’s when I have to find the dawn
I apologize for the wreckage
But the issue isn’t that I don’t know what I want

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