Pining from the Sidelines

She says this is the most sincerest form of love she's ever known
And yet still refuses to let it grow
It's stupidity or it's selfishness
But I still can't seem to let her go

I'm the one with whom she's confided every secret
Watched her face every mistake she's stubbornly made
She inspires me but refuses to embrace it
Continues searching for something else in dark places

I told her one day, when our situations are simpler
I'm going to come get her
She laughs as if she thinks I'm kidding
She has no idea what she's missing

I don't know what it would take
For her to see me the way that I see her
To accept what all she has to offer
And stop settling for anything lesser

One say she'll realize what it's always been about
The comfort and the calm
The honesty, intimacy, and vulnerability
We've never withheld

Until then I'll love her from the sidelines
In the periphery, just out of sight
But one day when everything is exactly, perfectly right
She'll be mine.

 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sharing My "Covid Chronicle Interview" By Sarah Moose on Patreon

My friend Sarah has a Patreon where they shares their stories and others' stories of survival.  They interview people about the pandemic and collapse, and is hoping to use this platform to travel and stay alive to share other peoples' stories as well as their own.  They are an extremely interesting and inspiring person; from their stories about the pandemic, about sex work, about houselesness, and their cross-country trip in their tiny-house offering pies to unhoused people.  I have also previously supported their efforts by purchasing both a shirt and masks featuring their "Human Rights" logo which encourages the radical idea that all humans deserve the right to food, water, housing, education, and healthcare.  [Links to stickers featuring that logo and others below].  I encourage you all to check out their Patreon and consider supporting their cause and their efforts to share the stories of people they meet - including me! My Interview Sarah invited me to part...
Read more

Leaving

 People act like leaving is easy Like the act of falling out of love with someone Is like a switch  Or somehow linear It's so much messier than all of that It's never that simple The movies will have you think Once the words have left your lips The person will leave And their stuff will disappear And time flashes forward That doesn't account for the stages That mimic those of grief Denial The finding ways to stay The sticking around The lingering Anger The accusations The cruelty The things you can't take back Bargaining The begging The doubt The balancing act Depression The emotions The concern of regret The loneliness  Acceptance The furthest step The hardest to reach The finale Even if it's amicable Or civil Or friendly It's never simple
Read more

Maybe My Depressed is Different than Your Depressed

My depressed means that the wrong statement can send me over the edge My depressed makes me want to crawl into a hole and hide My depressed makes me recoil at the thought of physical contact I’ll turn mirrors to face each other or the wall I’ll rush from work to home to avoid the eyes of strangers Who probably don’t see me anyway But my depression makes me feel like a giant My depression makes me feel like an ogre My depression makes me want to do whatever I have to do to make up to you whatever I did wrong to you But my depression also makes me feel unworthy of forgiveness My depression makes me feel incapable of helping or fixing My depression makes me push you away, Because my depression says I don’t deserve you My depression says I’m awful and terrible and you could do so much better My depression does not want attention My depression wants to be alone Because I don’t want you to see me like this, to feel like this, to experience this My depression doesn’t keep m...
Read more